From the article: How to Cure Lesbian Bed Death and Keep Passion Burning
Why is it that lesbian couples stop having sex? What can be done to bring sex back into a relationship? Please share your ideas and advice for couples suffering from lesbian bed death. Share Your Solutions
Skin on skin
- My partner sometimes has a lot of excuses (headache, tired, achy from work), and I simply request that we go to bed completely naked and cuddle, no sex necessary, which I'm ok with, I just want the warm intimacy. It works like a charm every time, we've yet to not have sex when I do that. It's an easy way to initiate, too, which I've been told before I don't do as much as I should, in past relationships. Since then I also initiate much more and have much more sex. Go figure.
- —Guest ShellBelle
Is She Bored Of Me ?
- My girlfriend and I when we first got together we always used to do stuff together. We Been Together 10 Months Now And She Is Never In The Mood Anymore, And When She Is, She Gets What She Wants And That's It.. She Says She Just Never In The Mood, I Dunno What To Do And I Defiantly Don't want to Break Up ! Help !?
- —Guest Hollyy
friends are for friendship
- My dearest fellow lezza's I believe in intimacy trust and all that stuff but also the separation of friendship and a lover. We all have friends to be close to and chatty don't we ? So let our partners remain as such, taunt them, flirt with them and share the things you wouldn't dream of sharing with your friend. Too many lesbians fall into the trap of making their partners their best friend simply because they are the same sex, this will kill the passion.
- —Guest tenacity
my first
- she doesn't want to hold me and doesn't want to have sex with me and it hurts...she says she attracted to me and i try everything to get her in the mood but she never work. I love having sex with her and its an 11 year difference between us... do i break it off or keep trying and i really do love her but it starting to hurt to much...
- —Guest kiera
how??
- My lover and I have been together for 5 months now. We have only had sex when we are drunk, if we dont drink we dont get intimate at all. Other than kissing its very boring. I want to spice it up, make her feel good. She doesnt complain or say im bad its just a mutual feeling. I'm nervous because shes my first same-sex relationship. I'm not exacly sure what to do and either is she. Helpp!!
- —Guest bettty
Menopause??
- My partner and I (together for 7 years) recently went through menopause and have stopped having sex. We were wondering if this could be the reason. Otherwise, we are very affectionate and cuddle a lot - it just doesn't lead to sex. anymore. I know we both miss it because we used to have great sex. I suggested we buy a lubricant, but she's uncomfortable about that. What more can I do?
- —Guest Modie
make it crazy
- i've been with my gf for well over a year and we have sex non-stop! i do all the things to make her happy like fore-play and giving her lapdances with her hands tied! there are several things that can be done for sexual times. just depends on the girl. once a girl tells you she's "tired", "hurting", or even "not now", that pretty much means she's tired of all the boring things?! spice it up baby!!!!!
- —Guest lover girl 13
try new things
- I love my ex to death, but didn't want her anymore. I suggested all my fantasies, but she was not the type of person to try them. On my behalf, I believe it would have given us more intimacy and intensity. On her behalf, she felt she had the right to act naturally in bed. It just was not the things she would do. We tried being sex-less girlfriends, but it just doesn't work out. If you want sex with your current partner side with her fantasies and suggest your own, give everything a chance, and find something new you both enjoy!
- —Guest bab
What's going on?
- I am in my first lesbian relationship and for some reason my sex drive has fallen dramatically. We had a lot of sex in the beginning but now I usually never want it and she wants it all the time. I just don't know what to do now. When we do have sex I usually just want to use sex toys..... I don't know how much I want to write but any advice?
- —Guest Suzie
no sex period
- i cant give anyone a response i have been in a relationship for 15 long years and alot plays part in the no sex anthem. She had back surgery, she had knee surgery, her hand hurts, she is (was)on pain meds, antidepressants, etc..... She doenst like quikies, it takes her so long to get turned on. THere is always an excuse. I get turned on thinking about it what is the problem with a quick one. She likes soft kisses and long making out scenes by the time she is ready I am not excited anymore. I was always more wild than she as in the sex dept. ITs just so boring. I dont know why she loves me to death as she tells me. She doenst do anything and everything is on my head , bills etc.......i could go on - I think its time for a change
- —Guest tunes1
sooner is betther than later
- Quit nagging your partner about sex. When the time is right, it's going to happen. Planning "special dates" for sex is so cliche to me... I've tried it. And it too becomes a monotonous thing. Let her come to you if you're not the one holding back. Try talking (not about sex) making her dinner, ask her about her job, her friends, or if it comes to it, jump her bones as soon as she walks in the door. and don't freak out, because that's when things can take a turn for the worse. Ride it out. You will both benefit from it in the long run by remembering how important that type of intimacy is
- —Guest kat
thats what it's called
- My wifeband and i have been together 23 years, and haven't been intimate for 15 years. However; that's the only lack, other than that no will ever love me like her. Although I do have to admit I do want to be wanted in that special way, hold onto the true intimacy of love and that is being there good or bad. Knowing you and a your other needs and wants and loving you as you are and for who you are.
- —Guest maryk
Stop calling it bed death!
- http://www.lesbilicious.co.uk/sex-relationships/lesbian-bed-death-a-self-inflicted-curse/
- —lbd50
Good Ridance
- Dear Taina, you should be glad that she is gone. You deserve to be respected, I feel that you need to learn to respect yourself. God never intended for you to be belittled, mistreated or abused in anyway. Don't worry about them laughing, because soon they will see you around town with someone. But, hey don't go looking for a new partner right away, give yourself some time.
- —Guest Jazzy61
Love - Lust
- "Bed death" is in my opinion the number one cause of lesbian relationships to 'fall apart' but in my case I simply asked my partner about her sexual fantasy's, ether Role play, BDSM, or in some cases "rape" turns some people on. On the case of rape it is more of a roleplay, domination "fetish", in my ...ahem... experience I've found that my partner isn't one to keep it just in the bedroom as routine is part of bed death, and "just going at it" becomes dull and unexciting. Change of "pace" helps. As to Guest Taina's "solution" flip them off and tell them they're not as exciting as they make themselves out to be, but hey that's me.
- —Guest Linda
Understanding
- I have come to understand that intimacy is more than sex. By not pressuring her, and letting her let me know when she is ready, it not only makes it more exciting but more complete because she is all there. We do other things for each other that keep that connection in between times of sexual intimacy like massages, brushing each others hair, or just hours talking. It has brought us closer because she does not feel pressured and I don't feel ignored.
- —Guest Ngukris
stop having sex
- My partner puts me down in everything I do. Even in the houses cleaning, she talks to everybody about our sex life. So she ended our relationship, threw me out of the house and moved someone in her house younger. They both see me around,and all they do is laugh at me.
- —Guest taina
