my experience
- I only had one girlfriend and she's rather androgynous. I'm a soft butch and I played the masculine role in the relationship. When it came to sex, I was the giver most of the time. I was usually the one who initiated anything. When we first started out, she would always insist that she has to feel sexually high first before she would properly stimulate me. Personally, I prefer touching her to being touched so the natural dynamics for us in bed was for me to give and for her to receive. Hence, during most of our intimate sessions, I would be the one giving and she would rarely touch me below. We both liked the arrangement so it worked out fairly well. However, when she does touch me, I do enjoy the feeling of being touched.
- —Guest soft butch
I still don't know her...
- I believe that sex is all about love, intimacy and exploration; as well as having a damn good time. I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years and can proudly say that I know very little about her body. Yes, sex with her is incredible, amazing, silly, passionate and I feel the most alive and happy I could ever possibly feel when we are intimate; but I would never say that I know everything about her cause I know I never will. Even when we reach our 50th anniversary I still won't know. And that to me is the beauty of sex in a relationship. Discovering just that little bit more about the person you love. I absolutely get pleasure out of touching my partner, and that is enough to satisfy me, but I also get pleasure out of being vulnerable to her. Trust is the key and I believe that the right person will give you total freedom with everything. Oh hey GuestClaire, Gotta tell you something, you're my partner, did you know? I love you angel! x
- —Guest Carly
Be Truely Happy....
- I don't understand why some lesbians don't like to be touched, I have been with my girlfriend for nearly 4years and our relationship is amazing! We laugh all the time, sex is ridiculous and I've never felt the same 'fire' with anyone else. I wouldn't label us, but were very feminine, funky but have short hair and wear pants sometimes. To have a satisfying relationship with anyone I believe you need to be touched and to touch your partner as, being open and sharing the most intimate moments together, however stupid, funny, embarrassing and beautiful they are, will be perfect and you'll be truely happy. They 'll accept you for you and you'll accept them! Love is feeling when you feel you could die any second and be happy to. Exploring your partners body is endless.....
- —Guest Claire
yes
- The love shared is touch I never considered my self untouchable I am wanting that intimacy as much as I Hope she is.
- —Guest loopy
Last post I think...
- So for the sake of this post I will call myself Butch. Sex with my first 2 gfs was give and take. But in my 2nd one my trauma hit me like a mack truck and set my triggers crazy. I began to turn inward and justify like many of you here by giving pleasure to my partners and saying I got mine from doing it while I silently screamed in my heart to be touched. That was far easier than dealing with the self loathing, guilt, shame, and memories that being touched or naked brought up. Plus add to it I felt dirty and unworthy of my partners touch. I'm sure many of my partners over those years wondered what was done wrong or felt unloved in some way. I know this will not apply to all here but for most of what I read I think it does. So please share honestly with your partners seek help and be patient with each other. Don't chalk it up as normal or a lost cause. I will be forever grateful for the pain and path I've traveled healing because it brought me the love of my life and her loving touch.
- —MichelleWindy
adding more to my first post.
- Let me say first (and I can't stress this enough) you must have open and honest communication with your partner or your doomed to unhappiness and resentment. As i read this discussion my mind kept screaming trauma issues!! This discussion isn't about labels or prefrences as a direct result of the labels. It is really about the ways and lengths women are going to in order to cope with and compartmentalize the abuse so many of us suffered in silence. I can say this because I too have done it. I started wearing boys clothes as a teen to hide my female body from prying eyes and to make myself less attractive making myself feel safer and in control. After I came out this mode of dress got me tagged butch. As a young rural lesbian i figured I had to follow the rules of this label to belong. It took many years and much pain to quit fashioning myself to the labels and start learning who I was from within. I'm still learning, it is hard to let go of all the stereotypes. One more post after this
- —MichelleWindy
When did the world as I know it go crazy
- Don't know how old or recent these posts are but I'm so floored by this entire discussion I feel a responsibility to say something though i'm not even sure where to start. I'm 34 yrs old and have been out as a lesbian since I was 17. For the last 6 or more years I haven't really been keeping up with the lesbian culture/community on the net. I've been with my current partner for 5yrs. Prior to me she was married to a man for many yrs. Due to recent problems she has been on here trying to understand things.She came accross this and showed me asking me to explain to her what all this means. I realize now discussions like this have confused her and caused us problems because she figures because i'm a lesbian i'm playing by these rules and lables. And I'm extremely fearful this has happened to many others as well. Since i have so much to say and only a 1000 characters to do it in i will probably have several posts.....
- —MichelleWindy
RE: Butches, Do You Like to be Touched S
- me and my butch girlfriend have been together for 2 years. our sex is extremely satisfying. she doesn't ever let me go in side her with fingers or toys. i think maybe 4 times she allowed me to. but she does let me go down on her. we bring sex games and roll play freakishly good sex as well. she loves me to stroke her skin, caressing her everything. what we have is amazing. i'm pretty open to what ever new or usual things we want to express to each other so it just works out. i know that she's uncomfortable with me going penetrating her but every thing else is so amazing that it's not missed. i do have to say the fact that she doesn't want to makes me want it sometimes but i know it means something to her to respect that so i do.
- —Guest mellons
yes
- yes I would love to get touched sexually but only from the woman I love.
- —Guest crs
It's more of a fear
- I don't lable myself. But I don't like to be touched and I don't like to touch my gf. We hug ang make out but when ever she trys to take it futher I chicken out. I think it's more of a fear than anything else. I want to please her but I can't. She still can't keep her hands off of me!
- —RockNRollOut
She's opened up.
- My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year, when we first got together she was awkward when it came to her being the receiver. She wouldn't finish and she would always try to change it to her pleasing me. I would say my girlfriend is a soft butch. Maybe? After some time of being together she opened up about how she felt. It took some time but now she is extremely comfortable with me pleasing her, she finishes and I am proud to say I'm the first person to use a toy on her. I think it really depends on the couple and the way they feel with eachother. She still favors pleasing me but she has no problem letting me touch her.
- —BrittnieJay
Its about trust
- I don't like labels, but I would say that I am somewhat boyish in the way I dress and act. However, even though I don't have the typical girly appearance and personality, I still consider myself to have a feminine sensitivity and tenderness. Anyway, I don't have a control complex, but I get really turned on when I please my partner. However, none of the 4 people I've been with intimately (both girls and guys) have made me orgasm, and I never really liked/ felt comfortable with them touching me. I wonder if I just haven't found the right person yet, or the right way to be touched, but its really affected my current relationship. I think it just boils down to a trust/ self-worth issue for me. I can't say I've truly given all of myself to anyone, and I just always put other people's needs before my own.
- —Guest A
My Stud x3
- my Stud.. iDk if She Likes To Be Touched. But i Don't think She Wants it. Whenever i Point Out Her ( Girl Parts ], She Gets Mad. She Really Plays The Stud/Butch Role. She is The Dominant One in The Relationship. & Because of Her Reaction When i Point Out the Obvious ( that She is Still Technically A Female ] She Gets Mad, So i Am Nervous to Ask if She Wants to Be Touched too. "/
- —Guest AmandaMayeInspire
My Girlfriend
- My girlfriend is a softbutch, she has a short hair cut, and dresses "guyish". I'm totally a girly tomboy. My gf loves to be touched, we do so much together, and we enjoy it all together. (:
- —Guest BG.
My stud loves to be touched
- I am the very femme one and my gf is a baby faced stud and she loves to be touched in all the places i do when were alone and under the sheets we have fun with each other we used our bodies to please each other first it made us closer and more comfortable and now she wants to bring in the toys.... but once she is out of the bed room its back to her dominance because she knows that me F***ing her too doesnt take her dominance away
- —Guest lilKrys
