Readers Respond: Tips for Keeping Love Alive

Responses: 13

By Kathy Belge, About.com Guide

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From the article: Keep Love Alive

What is your secret to a successful lesbian relationship? What is one thing you do that keeps your love alive? Share Your Tip

I've been in a relationship with my best friend for a yer and I moved in with her six months ago. Communication is the key to any relationship, but it is most important with your partner! The best thing I've realized is to always try and put her first: give her the last bite of cake, let her pick the movie or where you go to dinner, and offer to run errands for her. She loves you and will always try to put you first too, so the relationship will always find a way to balance out. Don't forget to hold her in the quiet moments. Sex is a special way to tell your partner you love them, but it is definitely not the only way! Make her dinner or write her a letter, buy her some small thing that makes her smile!! Let her know you think about her even when she can't be beside you. Listen when she talks and try to remember something special about every day you spend together. For every day you spend with her, there will always be at least one thing worth remembering. :)
—Guest ReaRea

I am a lesbian and am crazy for a girl who happens to love me back, when I first fell for her I was too shy to let her know in the fear of being detected, this was stupid if me. I never told her how I felt but whenever I was with her I could feel we had a connection and I think she felt it too. It was only a year later that I found out that she too had fallen for me and realised how stupid it was of me not to have told her sooner, had I done that we would have been together for longer. Lesson: if you love her, let her know.
—Guest greyhound

This is my first lesbian romance. My girlfriend and I are middle-aged, and share many things in common. She is extremely tactile, and loves the feel of fur on her skin. I adore wooing her with the feel of unexpected fur cascading down her neck and back, poofing over her forehead, caressing her face silkily, accompanied by my purr. It's like an electric sensation to her. I never thought there was another soul in the whole wide world who valued fur the way I do. Of course, after her fur massage, it's my turn. The softest furs we use are rabbit and chinchilla, which you can get pieces of at some love shops. Or you can try feathers or velvet.
—Guest Miss Thea

We do one thing-talk talk talk...and listen listen listen. I love love talks after lovings, or just walking. The other is surprise her...Like I'll put on one of my baby doll outfits and get all ready for her when she comes home. Or I'll be fully dressed from the waist up (Or down) and then naked the other half. I'll finish up cooking and we'll have supper just like that. She just loves it. Playing little games like that keeps her love index up!!! kisses girls. kaa
—karenanders

I am a singer/songwriter and I wrote a song for my woman and made her a video with the lyrics in it. She loved it. Be creative! There are many ways to say I love you and really tug at her heart strings. :D She is my inspiration and that song proved her of my love and proved me of how much her love affects me. It is a very nice surprise for both. Try it. If you are an artist of any kind use it to your advantage....
—Guest Alehkz Cheznokova

Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from AGE!
—Guest clara

This may sound funny, but the best way to make your girl fall back inlove with you is to.. show her, we can still have sweet passionate sex make a list of things you wanna do sexually with her, and also make a list of the things you love about her. Try!! to keep the spark going. Ive had the same problem. Don't! Smother her. give her time to think.. "Ok she was just to sexy yesterday and her sweet words really made me feel good" the moment you make someone feel good is when your relationship goes good. Communicate sexually and mentally, Let her know you still got it, and you can still be the one!
—Guest LipStick Lez

I'm having this problem. My wife and I are separated for the moment. She told me that she isn't in love with me. When we are together, but when we are friends she is. I worked a lot and she told me that all she wanted was affection. I'm trying to make her fall in love with me again now how do i go about doing that??
—Guest p

Might sound simple but daily routine can get in the way of the spontaneity of a relationship. I've been with my partner for over 5 years and I always feel the closest when we take time to talk before going to sleep or even getting up at the weekend. It's nice to feel like you are in a wee bubble and can talk about absolutely anything with no distractions. Always take time to look at each other first thing in the morning light.
—gem.22101985

Friendship is always a great foundation. It makes it easy for everything else to fall in its proper place. Communication is key, keep the lines open, never judge, learn to listen and aim to be understood... and of course, always always try to understand what your partner is saying. Be attentive, learn her body language, observe how she handles her self, give importance to her every little mood and gesture. When you love someone, you want to know ever bit of her, even if it takes you a lifetime. You find purpose in knowing what makes her tick and what makes her smile and what makes her sad... Best of all, know that it takes both of you to make it work. You need to be both into the relationship, you're not the only one doing the job. Appreciate her efforts too, show her how grateful you are for the love she gives you. It's not enough that you tell her you love her, acknowledge how much she loves you too. My baby is my bestfriend, and I could not ask for more. :)
—confused_no_more

We make sure that there is a weekend getaway once a month just for "OUR" time! We pick a city where neither of us have ever been so we are always having first experiences together!
—Guest Curly7701

Communication is the most important tool....ask questions when she is quiet and do not settle for just fine...show that you really care by prompting her to give you more than a one word answer and tell her that it does not matter what the problem is, the both of you will work through it!!
—Guest Madelyn

Every one of us changes a little bit, every day. One may not notice, but it happens. Never assume you know what she wants and likes - it is bound to change. Keep your eyes and ears open and alert for her. REALLY watch her. REALLY listen. Never assume you know what she means - keep talking to her. Every single day. I promise it will make all the difference.
—inkoksikate