Cynthia Barrett, a lawyer specializing in Elder Law offers this advice to LGBT folk as they plan for getting older.
Although you may have spent more than 50 years with a partner, in most states, the law will not recognize that relationship as legal spouses.
Gays and lesbians are known for their non-traditional relationships. It may be very important that your ex-lover or best gay friend be allowed as much access to you as your blood family. Realize that your natural support system is not recognized by the law. You will need paperwork to ensure your wishes are granted. Here are some steps you can take to prepare for your future.
Get an Advance Directive. These are forms that you can get at any hospital or from your doctor. On these forms you indicate what kind of end of life care you want and you can appoint a Healthcare representative. The healthcare representative will have the power to make decisions for you if you are not able to. You can also indicate who you want to visit you in the hospital. This is especially important because new HIPPA privacy rules mandate that non-relatives be shut out of medical information. You should give a copy to your doctor to put in your medical record, keep a copy, give one to your representative and give one to another trusted friend.
Designate a Financial Power of Attorney. This is someone who has the ability to make financial decisions on your behalf if you are unable to do so. You may want this to be your partner, but it doesn’t have to be. It is your money. Make sure it is someone you trust! This person can also advocate on your behalf to insurance companies, medical care providers.
Train your healthcare representative and your power of attorney. Barrett says, “I can talk until I’m blue in the face about getting these documents, but the educative process about how to use them and how to make things happen is seriously lacking.” She stresses that it is important that representatives get trained. She also notes there is no formal training available for people in these roles. She suggests people who have gone through the process help train others.
Get long-term care insurance. Lawyers recommend purchasing it in your fifties, unless it is offered through your work, then buy in your forties. “I am desperately certain that every person that has a non-marital relationship should do that,” Cynthia Barrett says. “Because we don’t have certain protections under Medicaid Laws.” Couples could risk losing their home if one has to go into a care facility.
If you can afford it, hire a care manager to help arrange for you to have care in your home or to help locate a facility in which you will be comfortable.
Avoid will challenge by making out your will when you are still in good health.
