Whether you're newly single with kids from a previous lesbian relationship or newly out of the closet having children complicates lesbian dating. How do you date when you're a single lesbian mom? Here are a few ideas:
Let People Know You're Looking to Date
Tell your friends and co-workers that you're looking to meet someone. Ask around to see if they would like to introduce you to someone you might hit it off with.
Go Where other Lesbians Moms Are
How do you meet someone when you barely have time for your job, keeping up with the kids, cooking, cleaning and all your other responsibilities? It may be a struggle, but if you want to meet someone, you've got to make the time. One of the best places might be groups with other lesbian moms. Not only will your children get to play with other kids who also have same-sex parents, you'll get to meet some new friends who are going through the same thing you are.
Go Where the Lesbians Are
If you want to meet lesbians, go where the lesbians are. Here are some great places to meet lesbians
Take Out a Personal Ad
And browse for someone you might be interested in. Follow these tips for writing a great personal ad
Dating is for You
Sure, your kids come first, but dating is something you do for yourself. Get a babysitter and go have a good time. Your kids may have feelings about your dating, it may signal to them you will not reconcile with your previous partner. Or they may be jealous of the time away from them. When you first start dating, it's not necessary to let your children know that's what you're doing. Simply let them know you're going out with friends for a good time. It is good for your children to see you enjoying your life.
Fooling Around is Okay
You may meet someone you know is not partner material, but you are attracted to anyway. That's great! Just because you are a responsible mom, doesn't mean you need to move right into a serious relationship. Have fun, fool around and date more than one person if you want to!
Hold off on the U-Haul
For lesbians it's so easy to fall hard and fast. But when children are involved it's especially important not to introduce a new love too soon. Experts advise to wait at least six months before introducing a new mate to your children.
Make the introduction kid-friendly
When the time comes to bring your new lady home, depending on the age of your kids, plan on introducing her at an ice-cream parlor, pizza place or some place you know your kids like. It's best to introduce her first as a friend.
Sleep at her place
Early on, if you're sleeping with a date, it's best to do it at her place or on a night when the kids are not home.
Remember, the long-term goal of dating might be to meet a permanent partner, but in the short-term your goal should be to get out there and have fun meeting new people. Flirt, dance, explore new interests and learn a few new things about yourself. Have fun!