So I'm just going to get right to the point, I'm not very experienced with “going down” and I was wondering exactly what I do with my tongue? Is there sucking involved? What is flicking is that with my tongue or fingers? Vaginally, should I use my tongue more or fingers and am I supposed to rub a certain area? I met a girl and she more experienced then I am of course, I've never actually been all the way with a woman, so I just need a bit of advice.
Dear Orally Confused:Having oral sex with another woman is one of the great pleasures of being a lesbian. Nothing feels as intimate as putting your mouth on another woman’s genitals. Oral sex is a skill that you can work on and improve, but no two women are the same and each might like something a little different than the other.
Likewise, every woman’s genitalia is slightly different. It’s one of the exciting things about being with a new partner: getting that first glimpse of her pubic region. Is she clean shaven or does she have a full and luscious bush? Do her inner labia peek out from outer labia, or are they tucked neatly inside? Is her clitoris a tiny bump or a large knob. Will she taste sweet, tangy or tart?
First Time Oral Sex with a WomanIf it’s your first time having oral sex with a new partner, don’t be afraid to let her know you’ve never done this before. Let her know you’re eager to get to work, but not quite sure of the lay of the land.
Make sure you spend some time getting her aroused before you head south. Kiss her, caress her breasts, press your bodies close together, bump and grind.
When you’re ready, pull down her pants. Go ahead and kiss her on the outside of her panties before you remove them.
Start Gentle and Build Up the IntensityStart out gentle. Don’t go at her like a dog to a bone. Kiss her outside labia and gently run your tongue between her lips. Notice if she’s wet. Pay attention to what she does with her body. Does she arch her back and push up to meet your tongue? This is a sure sign that she’s ready for you to get more active down there. Pay attention to her verbal and nonverbal communication.
What to do with your tongue? First take some time and explore the whole region, but eventually you’re going to want to end up on or near her clitoris. Go ahead and dip your tongue inside her vagina and if she likes it, insert a finger or two or more. When you’re first learning, slow down and pay attention to the subtleties of every sound and every movement your lover makes.
Some women require a lot of stimulation directly on their clitoris to orgasm. Others only like to be stimulated near and around it. When she is aroused try flicking (with your tongue, not your fingers) her clitoris. Some women like to have it sucked. For others that is too much. She may want one thing one day and something different the next.
As you can see, I haven’t given you any exact answers to your questions. The best thing to do is to experiment, do what feels natural to you and look for clues from your partner. If you can’t read her nonverbal cues, go ahead and ask her. More here? Is this the spot? Like this? She may answer you, or she may just grab your head and direct you where she wants you to go.
If she asks you to do something different or change what you’re doing, don’t take it personally. The best lovers are the ones who listen to their partners and have self-confidence without being cocky.