Can You Help My Lesbian Sex Life?

Question: Can You Help My Lesbian Sex Life?

Dear Kathy
My partner and I have been together for five years. She goes to college fulltime and I work late nights. Her mother lives with us and she's never gone for one second. We haven't made love in quite sometime now. It may also be because of stress over money, school, and work. Is there any way around all this?
Also I'd like to try a toy, but she does not want to. She is disgusted by the idea. How can I get her to open up to new things? I hope you can answer my questions.

Answer:

Dear Stressed Out Sally
It’s no wonder you’re not having sex with all that going on. You and your partner have gotten into a rut and it’s good you recognize it. Yes, the stress could be playing a big part in why you’re not having sex. Also, any couple together for five years will see a natural decline in their sex lives, but sex should not stop all together.

First, let’s deal with your stress. Money is tight, so getting away for a romantic weekend is probably not an option. But that doesn’t mean the two of you can’t have a romantic date. Pick her up after class one day and take her somewhere special. For a walk in a nice park, out to a nice dinner or just to a sweet romantic comedy. You’ve got to make some time for each other

Two, you’ve got to deal with her mother. You don’t say why she’s living with you, but it sounds like the lady needs to get out and have a life of her own. Sit down with your partner and let her know that the two of you need to have some time together in your home—without her mother there. Have her talk to her mom and ask her to give you guys some space one day a week. Maybe she can take a class at a community college or join a mall-walking group.

Three, once you get mom out of the house, here are some tips for breaking lesbian bed death and getting some sex back into your lives.

Fourth, don’t push the sex toys for now. If your partner doesn’t want to try them, see if you can get to the root of why. Some women simply do not like to be penetrated and that may be all she thinks sex toys are for. You can sit together and look at a website like Babeland, Lesbian Sex Toys or Two Girls and Their Toys and see if there’s anything that sparks her interest. But don’t insist. Another tactic is to ask her if she would be willing to use a sex toy on you. Tell her it’s something you have been wanting to try and you’d like to do it with her. Keep in mind that you can always pick something out and use it by yourself when you masturbate.

These are some ideas to get sex back in your life. How is your romance? Here are some tips to keep love alive.