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Help! My Girlfriend is a Messy Slob

Can Girlfriends Live Together when One is Messy and the Other Neat?


Messy House
© Ryan McVey/Getty Images
Updated April 12, 2012
Dear Emily,
I am a total clean freak and my girlfriend and I have been living together
for a few months now. The problem is she’s a slob! She leaves her crap all over the place and I am always picking up after her. I love her dearly and we actually get along very well other than this annoying issue. I am always on her case. I feel like such a nag! But how can I get her to clean up after herself?
Clean in Claremont

Dear Clean,

Settle down, mom. Jesus. I’ll pick it up when I get a chance!

I would rather perform self-root canal than have you barking up my ass all day. But other than that, you seem lovely. It is lucky for you that you are a neat freak because it looks like if you want to stay with her, you just may be a maid for the long haul.

You now get to choose. Yea for choice! You can continue to fight the good fight, get rid of her or clean it up yourself. Another option—that I personally could not deal with—would be to leave her stuff alone until she can’t stand living in garbage anymore and eventually cleans it up herself. We have got to choose our battles when it comes to co-habiting with our loved ones. Be grateful that this is the biggest issue you have with her.

Old habits die hard. I would certainly not spend my time trying to change, fix or alter her. Is it not so much less time consuming to just pick up her crap? You could have done that in the time it took to write me a letter.

Emily Wilcox is a lesbian advice columnist and author of 100 Lesbians Walk Into a Bar.... Follow her at @100lesbians on Twitter

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