How did you come out to your parents?
After a difficult experience where I was outed at my job, I drove 12 hours to my sister's house and came out to her first. We were very close, and I always feared losing her when she found out. She was stunned but agreed to go with me to my parents. The next day we drove 3 hours to my parents house. By the time I parked in their driveway, I was already crying because I was terrified that they would disown me on the spot. (I was 25 years old.) Once we all sat down in my parents' living room, it took me a few minutes to get the words out, but I finally choked out the words, "I'm gay."
What did you say?
I think it actually came out more like, "I think I'm gay." My mom cried and my dad asked a lot of questions, which I tried to answer honestly since I had been keeping them in the dark for several years. My mom asked me a few times how I could do this to them.
I almost couldn't believe how shocked they were, since it seemed like it was so obvious to me. Their reaction was bad, but it could've been worse. At the end of the day, my parents weren't happy, but my dad said, "You're still my daughter, and I still love you."
Four years later, I still haven't been disowned, but there is definitely a noticeable distance between me and my dad and me and my sister. Unfortunately, I doubt those relationships will ever return to the way they were before. For me though...it was a huge weight off my shoulders, and whether they like it or not, at least my family knows the truth about me now.
Advice
- Expect the worst, hope for the best! (This mindset worked well for me, and it didn't go as bad as it could have.)
- Be patient with them and answer their questions. Try to be understanding of the fact that you may be giving them what they consider to be the "worst news" they could ever get.
- Make sure that you are prepared for the worst case scenario, including: make sure you have somewhere else to go in case they kick you out, try to be financially independent of your parents, etc.
- Don't give them false hope.
