When did you join the military?
I served in the military (US Army) between 1987-1991.
How Did the Military Policy Affect You?
I was 18 years old when I went to Basic Combat Training (boot camp). While I had not "come out" formally to my family, I knew that I was gay. I can recall during the MEPS (Military Enlistment Processing) that we were asked, and had to swear before an officer, truthful answers to a number of questions, not necessarily in this order: "Are you currently, or have you ever taken illicit drugs?"; "Are you pregnant?"; "Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental or emotional illness?"; "Have you ever been hospitalized or treated for an emotional or mental illness?"; "Are you a homosexual, or have you ever engaged in homosexual behavior?" In response to the latter, I lied.
It was a deeply confusing thing to be asked, particularly at a time when I was attempting to come to grips with my own sexuality, and, in my estimation, only added to the stigma and difficulty over the next several years (I came out to me, mom, and everyone else in 1992 after I ETS's from the military) of finally making the decision to say I was a lesbian.
Nonetheless, I met several lesbians while I was enlisted in the Army. I went to gay bars with fellow military women, had one brief relationship, and certainly knew that I was not alone in hiding my identity. But the fact remains that I, and countless others serving their country voluntarily, were compelled to lie, to hide this essential facet of their identity and sense of being just to do what I consider to be an honorable service to one's country. And "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," to those of us who served prior to it, has been no different, except, they can't ask you during the swearing in process. The stigma, and danger of being outed (sexually and from the military) is just as detrimental to gays and lesbians' selfhoods as it ever was. We are there; we are serving honorably, dutifully, and voluntarily. If our bodies are equal enough to do the myriad jobs that make up a soldier's occupation, if our minds are capable of holding up to these difficult and often intensely challenging scenarios, if our limbs, our blood, and our deaths are good enough to serve alongside heterosexuals, why can we not be who we are openly?!
Advice
- My advice to any gay or lesbian intent upon joining the military is to be aware. First, be aware that the stigma associated with homosexuality is not just a matter of seeing you as different, or vulgar, or other; in the military, a closed and close-knit society within itself, there are individuals who hate us, and there is no protection (as yet) for this hate to be spilled onto innocent service members. Moreover, being gay can not only put your person in danger in terms of those that hate and fear gays, it can also destroy your career. If you do not want to hide who you are, think hard before joining!
